When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
