I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize