Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
