We're like a lot better than the average bears
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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