so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
