so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think people are normalizing furries
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
