what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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