why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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