have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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