so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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