I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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