In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
