garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
