He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
