I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
