She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
