there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize