You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
