we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize