I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
