you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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