never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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