Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
