Small penises have feelings too.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
