Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
