Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
