I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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