considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
