So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
