My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
