We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I party with great urgency now.
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