2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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