I am puke
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
