...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
