Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
