My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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