i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize