my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
