Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
