after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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