You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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