I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
