I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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