Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
