apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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