i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize