i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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