I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
