is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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