So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
