Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How naked do you want me to be?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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