i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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