I wish I only lived at night.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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