yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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