what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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