you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
