piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just want to make out with him forever
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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