I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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