I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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