Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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