nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize