Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
